Top ten signs that you are a dork


I am often heard saying that reading a comic book in itself does not make one a dork. Unfortunately if you are seen with a comic book in your hand, ‘dork’ is the exact label you will be given by the general public. Before abandoning your hobby, check yourself against this list. If any of the scenarios below describe you, then you are a definitely a dork and have no chance at getting either a girl, respect, admiration or normal friends. You should throw away all of your comic books, or better yet, send them to me.

  1. If you had the chance to date a supermodel but it meant burning your comic books in a cerimonial fire and never looking back, you would weep bitterly at the impossibility of such an act and bury your nose in the latest X-Men graphic novel.
  2. You think personal hygiene is for dorks.
  3. You first met most, if not all of your friends at a comic book shop.
  4. You wear costumes to comic book conventions.
  5. You have a hard time deciding whom you would rather date: Jean Grey, Mary Jane or Catwoman.
  6. When relating your past ‘adventures’, it becomes evident to the listener that you are actually describing Role Playing Game scenarios from your last gaming session.
  7. You believe that wearing black from head to toe makes you one or all of the following:
    • Attractive.
    • Cool.
    • Instyle.
    • Approachable.
    • Thinner.
  8. You regularly participate in collectable card tournaments… and you’re 35 years old.
  9. You enjoyed watching Electra.
  10. Your priorities, in order are:
    1. Comic books
    2. Collectable cards
    3. Movies with comic book themes
    4. Cartoons with comic book themes
    5. Money
    6. Food
    7. Sleep
    8. Girls

9 responses to “Top ten signs that you are a dork”

  1. Do people really run around the internet with a dictionary in hand waiting to give people the root origins of words or is ‘Darth Ape’ just extra queer? – why don’t you give me the history of that word “queer” I’m sure you’re well aquainted with it.

  2. queer (kw卯r)
    adj. queer路er, queer路est

    Deviating from the expected or normal; strange: a queer situation.
    Odd or unconventional, as in behavior; eccentric. See Synonyms at strange.
    Of a questionable nature or character; suspicious.
    Slang. Fake; counterfeit.
    Feeling slightly ill; queasy.
    Offensive Slang. Homosexual.
    Usage Problem. Of or relating to lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, or transgendered people.

    n.
    Offensive Slang. Used as a disparaging term for a homosexual person.
    Usage Problem. A lesbian, gay male, bisexual, or transgendered person.

    tr.v. Slang queered, queer路ing, queers
    To ruin or thwart: 鈥渕ight try to queer the Games with anything from troop movements… to a bomb attack鈥 (Newsweek).
    To put (someone) in a bad position.

    Perhaps from Low German, oblique, off-center, from Middle Low German dwer.

    I think all that fits Darth Ape pretty well

  3. Does anyone understand what i’m trying to do here? 724V15 – you are much more pathetic than Darth Ape could ever even dream to be – at least his comment wasn’t beating a dead horse – the joke has already been made, now maybe we can get on with our lives – besides, you typed way too much info. for it to ever be funny.

  4. god get a life Vulcore, all you can do is bash and bash, no telling how many people you’ve got to commit suicide. I know the thought crossed my mind when i first read you’re comments

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