Top ten signs that you are a dork

Posted in: Articles :: 9 Comments
19
Oct ‘05
dork

I am often heard saying that reading a comic book in itself does not make one a dork. Unfortunately if you are seen with a comic book in your hand, ‘dork’ is the exact label you will be given by the general public. Before abandoning your hobby, check yourself against this list. If any of the scenarios below describe you, then you are a definitely a dork and have no chance at getting either a girl, respect, admiration or normal friends. You should throw away all of your comic books, or better yet, send them to me.

  1. If you had the chance to date a supermodel but it meant burning your comic books in a cerimonial fire and never looking back, you would weep bitterly at the impossibility of such an act and bury your nose in the latest X-Men graphic novel.
  2. You think personal hygiene is for dorks.
  3. You first met most, if not all of your friends at a comic book shop.
  4. You wear costumes to comic book conventions.
  5. You have a hard time deciding whom you would rather date: Jean Grey, Mary Jane or Catwoman.
  6. When relating your past ‘adventures’, it becomes evident to the listener that you are actually describing Role Playing Game scenarios from your last gaming session.
  7. You believe that wearing black from head to toe makes you one or all of the following:
    • Attractive.
    • Cool.
    • Instyle.
    • Approachable.
    • Thinner.
  8. You regularly participate in collectable card tournaments… and you’re 35 years old.
  9. You enjoyed watching Electra.
  10. Your priorities, in order are:
    1. Comic books
    2. Collectable cards
    3. Movies with comic book themes
    4. Cartoons with comic book themes
    5. Money
    6. Food
    7. Sleep
    8. Girls

also from freak comics…

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In case the podcasts didn't clue you in, Bill (my intrepid "co-host") is a huge dork. He knows a lot about comic books, hero clicks, RPGs and dork stuff in general. He won a Star Wars card competition for crying out loud... and if that's not bad enough, he traveled 6.5…
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Harder than ever to find comic books
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Pontification
I just picked up a two of my favorite comics from Barnes & Noble: The Amazing Spider-Man Marvel Masterworks edition Vol. 1 (which collects issues 1-10 of the Amazing Spider-man, and issue #15 of Amazing Fantasy), and The Adventures of Tin Tin volume 6. The Adventures of Tin Tin Vol. 6…
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9 Comments rss feed RSS feed for this article's comments

  1. Darth Ape October 20, 2005 at 9:31 am

    Dork: (def)1. the jewish word for the male vessel 2. one who invents dork self check tests.

  2. Joe October 20, 2005 at 9:48 am

    also: one who gets offended because the list applies and attempts to slam it’s creator.

    :)

  3. Vulcore October 21, 2005 at 10:31 am

    Do people really run around the internet with a dictionary in hand waiting to give people the root origins of words or is ‘Darth Ape’ just extra queer? - why don’t you give me the history of that word “queer” I’m sure you’re well aquainted with it.

  4. Joe October 21, 2005 at 10:40 am

    Such hate, Vulcore!

    Darth Ape: keep commenting! Any and all comments are much appreciated.

    Even Vulcore’s vile insults!

  5. 724V15 October 22, 2005 at 11:49 pm

    queer (kwîr)
    adj. queer·er, queer·est

    Deviating from the expected or normal; strange: a queer situation.
    Odd or unconventional, as in behavior; eccentric. See Synonyms at strange.
    Of a questionable nature or character; suspicious.
    Slang. Fake; counterfeit.
    Feeling slightly ill; queasy.
    Offensive Slang. Homosexual.
    Usage Problem. Of or relating to lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, or transgendered people.

    n.
    Offensive Slang. Used as a disparaging term for a homosexual person.
    Usage Problem. A lesbian, gay male, bisexual, or transgendered person.

    tr.v. Slang queered, queer·ing, queers
    To ruin or thwart: “might try to queer the Games with anything from troop movements… to a bomb attack” (Newsweek).
    To put (someone) in a bad position.

    Perhaps from Low German, oblique, off-center, from Middle Low German dwer.

    I think all that fits Darth Ape pretty well

  6. Vulcore October 23, 2005 at 1:25 am

    Does anyone understand what i’m trying to do here? 724V15 - you are much more pathetic than Darth Ape could ever even dream to be - at least his comment wasn’t beating a dead horse - the joke has already been made, now maybe we can get on with our lives - besides, you typed way too much info. for it to ever be funny.

  7. 724V15 October 23, 2005 at 1:12 pm

    lol, that was kinda the whole point, and i copied and pasted all that crap

  8. 724V15 October 23, 2005 at 1:41 pm

    god get a life Vulcore, all you can do is bash and bash, no telling how many people you’ve got to commit suicide. I know the thought crossed my mind when i first read you’re comments

  9. Vulcore October 23, 2005 at 2:21 pm

    then why don’t you do us all a favor and finish that thought.

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