Freak Comics

What has gotten in to Superman as of late? One moment we’re reading the Camelot Falls story arc, in which Superman finds out he is the cause of mass destruction in the near future. The next thing you know, we’re reading pointless filler stories about minor characters.
First we follow around an old woman who thinks Supes is an angel in Superman #659, and then we’re forced to read a boring reintroduction to one of the lamest super villains in the DCU: The Prankster.

Thanks for nothing Busiek, this issue was horribly lame!

The Prankster (Oswald Loomis) is a man who used to have his own television series. When he got canceled, he went crazy and turned to a life of crime. He first appeared in Action Comics #51 way back in 1942.
He’s and idiot. His crimes involve prop gags and slapstick comedy. In Superman #660 he causes a ruckus by flooding the streets with banana peels just in time for a marathon to run over the peels and fall. He also entraps the police in glue squirted from giant flowers that are attached to his giant floating bubble.
This issue smacked of the 50’s and I suppose that some people will be happy to see this.

I actually wouldn’t have minded a lighthearted story such as this, but not in the pages of Superman. DC is on the right track, but they need to start a new title for these story lines.

Not only was the story lame, but the art was atrocious. Mike Manley and Bret Blevins were the guest artists on this issue. Their style simply doesn’t fit Superman… The Animated Adventure of Superman, perhaps. But not the main Superman title by any means.

In Superman #662 we’ll be thrust back in to the Camelot Falls story… that means one more filler issue. Wonderful!

The Supergirl title hasn’t been doing so well. From the infamous plea for readers in DC Nation #45, to the outright hatred of some readers, it would seem that Supergirl will sooner or later face the same fate as her predecessors which bore her same name.
Why does DC keep bring Supergirl back, only to off her in the end?
Is the world only big enough for one Kryptonian?

One thing is for certain, Kara is being crammed down our throats whether we read her crappy comic or not.

Besides being featured in her own title comic, and also being the headliner in Supergirl and the Legion of the Super-Heroes, she is mentioned in Action Comics #846, in what sounds like a plan for her demise.

She shows up in Superman / Batman #31 and #32, overcome with the ominous alien force that is taking over all of Earth’s Non-Earth heroes. Supergirl and Green Lantern pair up in The Brave and the Bold #2.

That’s a lot of Supergirl for being a character that can’t find her identity and still struggles with thoughts of killing Superman. Hers must be the longest story arc in the history of comic books.

If DC were smart they would kill her off yet again, and this time leave her that way.

This has got to be one of the greatest videos I’ve seen in a while.
On Friday, a Batman impersonator was involved in a tiff with some picketers: they wouldn’t let him use their porta-potty. Batman ripped off his cape and threw it to the ground while yelling at the picketers.

Batman even had a little backup from his pal Chewbacca, who was so angry he ripped his own head off.

The LA PD ended up getting involved and busted the caped crusader. Don’t take my word for it: check the video yourself.

Jimmy Kimmel also had a bit to say about it:

Update:
You can get the full newscast video on the ABC Los Angeles website.
There are a few funny quotes, my favorite is from one of Batman’s fellow street performers, Hollywood Afro Man:

“He’s no good for here. That’s why a lot of the characters named him Bat Trash… because he’s got a trashy mouth.”
according to ABC, Batman started banging his head (presumably in to a wall) when they took him in to the station, and kicked out the window of a patrol car. Way to go, Bat-Trash!

Screen caps of Batman’s arrest (click images for a larger view)

Marvel comics has partnered with Al Ahli Group and will be opening a massive theme park dedicated to Marvel Comics heroes… in Dubai and more specifically, Dubailand a 3 billion square foot (107 mile) amusement park… twice the size of all the Disney Land / Disney World resorts combined.

The Marvel portion of the theme park will cost $1 billion dollars (a drop in the bucket considering the rest of the park will cost another $19 billion).

I wasted about 15 minutes of my life reading Superhoe #15 today, and like issues #1 - #14, it sucked.
The story involves more references to Supergirl’s already overly referenced past, a fight between Power Boy and Supergirl, and a fairly huge scientific flaw at the end of the book. Mainly though, the comic was trying to deliver a message: domestic abuse is bad.

It all starts with a kiss between the Girl of Steel and the Boy of Creepiness. Power Boy’s power kicks in to high gear and he kicks the crap out of Kara, all the while claiming he loves her and wants to help her, and would be able to, if only she would listen to him.
He ends up dragging her to his lair which contains a massive wall with random photos of Supergirl in various moments of anger, glee and undress. Where he acquired these candid photos is anyone’s guess.
It turns out that Power Boy is actually from Apokolips… a minion of Darkseid. He happened to see Kara during her brief stay in Apokolips and immediately developed an unhealthy fixation on her.

Kara eventually escapes and beats the crap out of Power Boy. The fight ends up in space (big surprise) where Supergirl breaks Father Box (whatever that is) and has to throw it in the sun… but it has a supernova-like effect before it gets there.

While in space Power Boy and Supergirl talk back and forth. That’s really odd since talking involves sound which is completely dependent on air.

This comic was just short of being a Public Service Announcement. The upside of this is, if you’re a girl you now know what to do if your boyfriend knocks you around: threaten to kill him, burn him with your Heat Vision, punch him in the mouth and drop a huge bunker and it’s concrete foundation on his face. If he tries to get away, chase him down and after kneeing him in the crotch, threaten to break every bone in his body… then break some random object that happens to be very dear to him.
Who says comic books don’t teach you anything?

Robert Kirkman will be making a 5 city grand tour May 4th (free comic book day) through the 6th.

“For Kirkman’s first new creator-owned series in four years, we’re doing something big,” says Director of Marketing Mark Haven Britt. “You get an awesome new FREE comic, you get to meet Robert in person, AND you get to meet him when he’s delirious from sleep deprivation and cross country flights! Come on by! It’s gonna be a hoot!”

This is great news for me, I’m a huge Robert Kirkman fan… time to dork it up!

• Camera: check!
• Walking Dead comics for autographing purposes: check!
• Marvel Zombie comics also for autographing purposes: check!
• Stammering over my words in a star-struck stupor: check!

Beware, Robert! I’ve already made an idiot out of myself when I met Tony Moore. You’re next!

The schedules for Kirkman’s appearances follow:

New York City, New York

Jim Hanley’s Universe
May 4th 11pm - 1am (The comic will be given out at 12:01am)
4 West 33rd St.
New York, NY 10001
(off 5th Ave. -opposite the Empire State Building)
(212) 268-7088

Chicago Illinois

Graham Crackers Comics
May 5th 11am - 1pm
77 E. Madison St.
(SW Corner of Michigan & Madison, Across from Millennium Park)
Chicago, IL 60602
(312) 629-1810
GrahamCrackers.com

Denver Colorado

Mile High Comics
May 5th 7pm - 9pm
9201 N. Washington
Thornton, CO
(303) 457-2612
milehighcomics.com

Los Angeles, California

Golden Apple
May 6th 12am - 2pm
7018 Melrose Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90038
(888) 235-2400
goldenapplecomics.com

San Francisco Bay Area, California

May 6th 6:30pm - 9:30pm
Comic Relief: The Comic Bookstore
2026 Shattuck Ave.
Berkeley, CA 94704-1117
(510) 843-5002
comicrelief.net

For those who don’t know about Kirkman’s new book The Astounding Wolf-Man, here’s the official word:

The Astounding Wolf-Man chronicles the life of workaholic CEO Gary Hampton. While on a rare family vacation, he’s bitten by a werewolf. Cursed to live his nights as a monster, Gary works to use these evil powers for the greater good. The story is part superhero, part horror and a whole lot of fun.

Who killed Captain America? Personally, I think Captain America from an alternate time did it. I think he shot himself for some reason and then stole the shield in order to take his own place.
OK it’s a long shot and I’m most likely totally wrong, but it would be a rather cool copout.

What do you think? Who killed Cap’n A?

Why did Joe Quesada agree to killing off Captain America? Why did Aunt May get shot? Why did Spider-Man and Iron Man reveal their true identities to the public, and a host of other heroes register with the government?
Because the Marvel Universe is in bad shape. It needs a reset and the powers that be know this.
It is my belief that the Civil War was the first in a series of events that will eventually get Marvel back to it’s roots.

Things have to get worse before they get better… so Marvel decides to kill off Captain America and Goliath and a host of villains. They decide to reveal identities and make a big social commentary on war. They get rid of most of the mutants, including Jean Grey. They completely pull the rug out from their Universe and make everything appear to be in chaos. However, very soon Marvel will begin to reshape their Universe back to it’s original state.
Captain America will return.
Spider-Man will somehow no longer be known as Peter Parker to the public, and will go back to his original costume.
The Avengers will be reformed (along with Goliath), as will the Fantastic Four.
The X-Men will go back to square one, meaning they will be lead by the professor, and Jean Grey will come back to life.

How will all this happen? Time travel of course! People tend to forget: Nothing in comics is permanent.

When Marvel decides to stop being stupid and gets their Universe back in order, I’ll start reading their comics again. For now, I’m stopping with Civil War, and will go back to reading DC Comics who actually knows how to reshape their Universe in a fun and interesting way.

Thanks for nothing Marvel.

Last night I wrote about the death of Captain America, and while I still believe it’s all Marvel’s attempt to boost readership and eventually ticket sales on the Captain America movie… and although I’m sick to death of the media coverage on not only Cap’s death, but also Civil War in general, last night’s Colbert Report’s take on this event is pretty funny.
Check it out below, it’s definitely worth watching.

Everyone is abuzz over the Death of Captain America. Apparently he gets shot by a sniper in Captain America #25… but I didn’t read that for myself, it’s all over the news! On Wednesday Captain America #25 was released and it’s already selling out like crazy at various comic shops. My copy is tucked safely away in a box behind my favorite comic shop’s counter.

Civil War was obviously just a vehicle for Cap’s death.
Yes it might make for a good plot. Yes it’s an interesting twist. But in the end this is all just a marketing ploy from Marvel to sell crap loads of comics and boost readership.
They’re even following it up with a 5 part event called Fallen Son:

• Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America – Wolverine
• Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America - Avengers
• Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America – Captain America
• Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America – Captain America
• Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America – Iron Man

More importantly: Captain America’s death is Marvel’s way of making people more aware of the character in order to bolster ticket sales for the upcoming Captain America movie.

Unfortunately this “shocker” death has already been ruined for me. In fact, it’s getting so much buzz I barely want to read it anymore. This event seems to be getting as much, if not more press than Anna Nicole Smith’s death (mainly due to distribution by the Associated Press).
Nearly every news source is reporting on this comic, it’s even going to be the subject of Tonight’s Word on the Colbert Report (11:30 Est on Comedy Central if you’re interested).
To the news media I say: get over it!
Captain America will be dead for a year max. Everyone knows there is absolutely no way he will stay dead.

Here is a pretty lame quote from someone who felt the need to chime in on this event, but most likely never reads comic books:

“I believe that he will be back, and as he rises I think we can all believe no matter where we are — from left to right or middle that America will continue to rise.

We have to believe that as a nation, that we will continue to go on and I think Captain America’s legacy will be his rebirth.”
John Ridley
Morning Edition
Source

And some random quotes from people who do know a thing or two about comics:

“It’s a hell of a time for him to go. We really need him now.”
Joe Simon
Captain America Co-Creator

“I was shocked. I was not expecting it. I’d rather they didn’t kill him - but it’s going to mean great sales.”
Gerry Gladston
Midtown Comics in Manhattan
Source

“What happens with the costume? And what happens to the characters that are friends and enemies of Cap? You’re going to have to read the books to find out.“
Joe Quesada
Marvel Editor-in-Chief
Source

Fallen Son: The Death of Captain America Covers

Note: As of this writing, the Iron Man cover has not been released.

Update (3.8.2007 10:40pm) : Joe Quesada’s quote (above) was only partially posted. I’ve updated it to contain his final sentence… take a look.