Freak Comics

Forget everything negative I had to say about a Fantastic Four sequel. A rather low quality bootleg of the Fantastic Four 2 trailer had surfaced on You Tube, but an official realease from fox was quick on it’s heels. The official version can be seen on Apple.com and from the looks of it, this movie will blow the brains out of the first one.

For those of you unable to see the trailer, heres a quick break down:
Reed and Sue are getting married, Johnny and Ben are standing up behind them. Suddenly there’s a noise as something goes flying past the window. Johnny jumps out the window with his trade mark “Flame On” scream, and chases down the blur, only to discover that it is the Silver Surfer. The Surfer grabs Johnny by the neck, flys him in to space and drops him. The trailer ends as Johnny plummets towards Earth.

I had absolutely no idea that the Silver Surfer would be in this film.
Although I’d rather see a stand alone Silver Surfer movie, Fantastic Four 2 should be really awesome, especially if Galactus looks half as cool as the Surfer (Galactus had better make an appearance).

There is a pretty interesting student documentary dealing with the comic book culture on You Tube by Robin Harman.
It is a little heavy on the Marvel side of things but it does have an interview with Glenn Fabry (an artist who has done work for DC Comics among others) and the end credits are kinda cool. Over all it’s worth the watch if you have some time to kill.

Comic Book Culture Part 1

Comic Book Culture Part 2

Comic Book Culture Part 3

Finally a Spider-Man 3 trailer has surfaced!

I wasn’t a great fan of the second Spider-Man movie, although I loved the first (even with the liberties taken).

Usually I don’t go out for sequels or thirds. Follow up movies are usually standard Hollywood “bigger-is-better” fluff. I also don’t go out for trailers much because they almost always make a movie look better than it really is.
However, after seeing this trailer for Spider-Man 3, I am convinced this will be the greatest of the trilogy.

The black suit looks absolutely amazing. I love the detailed zooms, and the brief shot of it crawling on to Spidey’s hand (above).

Sandman should also be pretty impressive, although I can’t help but be reminded of the Mummy when I see him in the tailer.

I would also like to point out that I was absolutely wrong, and I am now very much looking forward to the third movie.

It’s finally here: Superman Returns hits theaters for the general public, which means you can finally witness either Superman’s triumphant return to theaters, or a parasitic train wreck riding on the coat tails of success that Batman Begins brought to the silver screen. I have high hopes for this flick and believe it will overcome the Kryptonite that is Hollywood fluff.

To celebrate this final day of superman, enjoy this ensemble of really old (and a couple of new) Superman commercials!

Sugar Frosted Flakes commerical

Yes kids, give yourself a swell boost of false energy, and a few cavities to boot… just like Superman!

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Kellog’s Flying Superman commercial

Plastic flying crap… only 10 cents!

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Kellog’s Sugar Smacks

What’s with Superman being a slave to the Kellog’s corporation? This one is particularly creepy… the clown at the end will give me nightmares for the next 10 years.

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Superman Peanut Butter

Lex Luthor, your poor sap!

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Batman toys

Ok so this one doesn’t have anything to do with Superman, but I couldn’t resist… Batman’s voice sounds like it was done by an old, grizzled, drunken bum.

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Superman AT&T calling card

Superman is so cheap he uses a pay phone and a calling card. He must also live in low rent government housing…

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The Adventures of Superman commercial

The sound on this one sucks, but I couldn’t resist posting it.

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Superman Duracell commercial

Batteries!? You should be ashamed of yourself, rich executives that are rolling in the dough from selling out!

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Superman Alienware commercial

I never actually saw Superman in this commercial… just a red streak of light. By my estimate, that could have been any number of super heroes, including Super Girl, the Flash or Blossom from the Power Puff Girls.

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Superman Cap’n Crunch commercial

Quick! Up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane… it’s another vain attempt to fly in the wake of Superman Return’s success!!

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Superman Inflato-suit commercial

What a piece of junk! What happens when your kid decides to pound on the family cat and get’s his new $20 suit hacked and slashed? Or worse yet, decides to pummel the school bully and gets his face hacked and slashed?? Incidentally, the still shot of this video looks as though the kid’s guts are exploding.

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Today’s Superman video feature is spoofs… call them SPOOFerman films, if you will (I deserve to be shot for that one)… there’s also a fan film thrown in at the end.

Superman Retires

Someone synced up audio from Rocky and footage from the old Justice League cartoon. Excellent editing!

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Superhero Theater

Superman and Bizzaro in Of Mice and Men. This is decent, until the end (after the credits) which is hilarious.

Superman leaves physics 101

This one has been making the rounds, but it’s funny if you haven’t seen it yet.

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Batman and Superman

This is a trailer for a fan film that was never made.

In light of Superman Returns hitting theaters in a few days, I thought it would be cool to present all of you with a host of videos related to the Man of Steel. These range from the bizarre to the main stream.

For the next 3 days I will be releasing a set of videos which pay homage to the Last Son of Krypton in one way or another.

To get things started, here are six Superman cartoons from the 40’s.

Superman

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Superman: The Mummy Strikes

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Superman: The Mechanical Monsters

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Superman: Electric Earthquake

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Superman: The Magnetic Telescope

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Superman: Eleventh Hour

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A few days ago I found a message waiting in my inbox from Kourosh Rahimpour. Neurons churned to life in my inebriated mind… Kourosh was back! The subject of this completely unexpected email?

NEW BATMAN FILM

I starred at the bold letters in awe and wonder. Dare I read this email? Perhaps the great Mr. Rahimpour was simply writing to inform me he could no longer fulfill him promise of a sequel, dashing not only my hopes, but the hopes of all loyal Kourosh-ites to tiny little unreconcilable pieces.

Who’s Kourosh Rahumour do you ask? The greatest director since Alfred Hitchcock, the greatest writer since Shakespeare, and the greatest actor since Fred Savage.

Like many of you I didn’t fully appreciate his first film upon first viewing. I wrote a scathing review and hoped I would never lay eyes on another work of Kourosh. Yet after watching Batman: Defenders of the Night 10 or 12 more times I was nearly ready to quit my job and follow the ways of Kourosh (you know: move back to my parents house and make little known Batman films with my gay buddies).

Kourosh somehow caught wind of my review and replied to it, swearing that he would return with a sequel.

After becoming a follower I patched things up with Rahimpour and interviewed the man behind the film himself. That was five months ago.

Flash-forward to May 9th. I’m in front of the computer. The email is in front of me. I click it, and read:

Hey Joe,
hope all is well. Here is the long awaited sequel I promised you.
Kourosh
http://youtube.com/watch?v=O7OZMoQygGA

Edit: (receding URL has been updated as the last one was broken).

My hands shook. My teeth chattered. Kourosh hadn’t betrayed his promise!

The film in review (spoilers… watch the film first!)

The title of the film is Batman and Robin: Dark Betrayals and it’s nearly 4 minutes longer than Batman: Defenders of the Night. Four minutes longer and ten times funnier.There were several moments when I literally laughed out loud.
The short film centers around Batman’s quest to find Robin, who seems to be on a crime wave.

Dark Betrayals features the first appearance of Commissioner Gordon who is played by Michael, the same actor who play the Riddler in Defenders of the Night. His portrayal of Gordon is much funnier, and happens to be one of my favorite scenes: Batman sneaks up on the Commissioner in his “office”, dirty laundry is lying against one of the walls. Gordon is pouring over a hand drawn Wanted poster of Robin. He claims that Robin has turned up in “robberies, smut shots and all sorts of illegal activities.” Cut to Robin dealing drugs on the street. Comic gold!

Arvin’s portrayal of an evil Robin was very funny, especially the afore mentioned drug scene. If these guys decide to make a third film I would absolutely love to see more Arvin.

After discovering that Robin is actually a thug in disguise, Kourosh gives us one of the worst cuts of the film (on purpose). It goes like this:

Batman tackles Robin (played by Arvin Tounian). Cut to a close shot of Batman on top of Robin getting ready to beat him to a pulp. Robin is now played by a completely different, unnamed actor.

His clothes have changed from the typical Robin costume to black sweat pants and a cut off shirt, and he’s sporting a paper mustache and beard. Hilarious!

There’s a great reference to Defenders of the Night. When “Robin” is attempting to scale a bride he says “I wish Batman were here!”. In Defenders of the Night Batman helped the struggling Robin to climb a bridge.

The acting in the film was better. The fight scene at the end of the film was a bit more realistic. The editing was leaps and bounds above the first film, and the sound was improved slightly.

I do wish music was used a little more sparingly, and when used that it didn’t muffle the actor’s voices… but who am I to question the unfaltering genius that is Kourosh Rahimpour?

So now you know what I think of this amazing gem. Watch the film and let myself, Kourosh and the rest of the crew know what you think.

Spider-man 3 screenshots have been floating around for a while now, and fans are in a bit of a tizzy. Why? Spider-man appears to be wearing a black costume. If that’s the case, then Venom will most likely be the latest in the line of super-villains that spidey must face off against… in a symbiotic alien costume! However this could all be a ruse. The “black suit” appears to be a grey scale photo to me, and Spider-Man appears to be more depressed than super-charged with alien powers.

That’s not all the screenshots reveal. Check out the Sandman. Excellent choice for a villain, even if the consistency is completely out of whack, and Thomas Haden Church looks perfect for the part. As long as Green Goblin (via Harry Osborn) doesn’t make a second appearance I’ll be happy with the villain choice.

As I’ve stated in the past I’m really not all that excited about Spider-Man 3. The sequel was a tragedy so far as I’m concerned, and I doubt 3 will do the series any justice.

May 26, 2005 worldwide: the third coming of the X-Men. A new director and lots of new (or old depending on how you look at it) characters.

Although the release is quit a way off, you can still check out the very cool “announcement teaser”. There are also a number of photos of the cast online at the official movie site (designed in crap-o-vision Flash Animation) or you can check out the exact same photos (minus colossus for some reason) at the official marvel site in the media section (not really designed at all, but at least there’s no flash to bother with). Or you can check out high resolution versions at superherohype.com

The afore mentioned photos are rather lame since they are just profiles of the cast from the neck up. You can’t really check out their costumes. countingdown.com has what appears to be concept art and a few other images as well, and a metal Colossus can be found at canmag.com.

The Plot

According to imdb.com:When a cure is found to treat mutations, lines are drawn amongst the X-Men, led by Professor Charles Xavier (Stewart), and the Brotherhood, a band of powerful mutants organized under Xavier’s former ally, Magneto (McKellen).

The cast and crew

Director: Brett Ratner.

X-3 will be under the direction of a new mind, Brett Ratner. This guy’s resume includes such hits as Rush Hour, Prison Break… um… Rush Hour 2… and uh, Madonna: The Video Collection 93:99. Ouch. We could be in for a very bumpy ride.

Writers: Zak Penn and Simon Kinberg

Well, even if the director isn’t the greatest choice, the writers are good, right? right?? Uh no, wrong. ZAk Penn has given us Inspector Gadget, Behind Enemy Lines, Elektra and the Fantastic Four… oh, and X-Men 2: Mutants United. Kinberg has written such fine classic material as xXx: State of the Union. I realize that I should possibly cut Penn some slack since he did write X-2, but I wasn’t thrilled with the flick to begin with… although he wasn’t stupid enough to write the line “What happens to a toad when it’s struck by lightening? The same thing as everything else!” (so dramatic), so that gives me plus points automatically.

Ashley Hartman

IMDB lists Ashley Hartman as playing the part of Emma Frost. While introducing Emma Frost might seem like a bad idea since she didn’t come along until later, I have decided that continuity has gone out the window for all of the X-Men movies and you just have to take them for being alternate stories with bits of the comics mixed in. Not that cool, but whatever… it’s Hollywood. By the way, Hartman was (according to IMDB) contestant #32 on American Idol and had a role on the OC. She was also in Maxim and has a creepy doppleganger at Rutgers (a state university in New Jersey).

I’m not entirely sure what to think of this movie myself just yet. The trailer is awesome, and beast looks fairly cool. Angel looks amazing and I’m glad to see the Phoenix Saga will be explored… albeit loosely. After all they’re putting Moira MacTaggart in the show, but from what I can tell, no Banshee. Juggernaut will make his debut, but no Black Tom Cassady. I’m fairly certain that this photo from the trailer is of Cassady Keep, which would be in keeping with the original story line. If you’re going to do a Pheonix Saga story, why bother putting some of the starring cast from the comic in, but not all? And why bother mucking with the overall story? I really enjoyed the comic version and am afraid to see it translated on the big screen.
Of course, the cast of characters is dependent on IMDB being correct, which is up in the air as far as I’m concerned.

Something else that worries me: a massive amount of new mutants. IMDB has a list of the entire cast and crew and it seems like a bit of an overload on characters. I don’t want this to turn in to the original Batman movies, attempting to introduce as many characters as possible. Then again, X-Men has always relied on a large group of mutants, so we’ll just have to wait and see what the outcome will be.

It will also be very interesting to see how the write Nightcrawler off since Alan Cumming won’t return for another film.

I’ve had an email sitting in my inbox for a couple of days now alerting me to a new fan movie that was added to the batmanfanfilms.com. I was unable to check in to this movie as I’ve been extremely busy. However I arose at 5:30am today in order to get some extra work done, and started out by watching Batman: Defenders of the Night.

I’m fairly certain that this movie started out with good intentions: making a cool Batman film to pass the time (sure beats the monotony of watching the repo man take your possessions each day), and then turned in to a poor attempt at humor, and then spiraled in to a nightmarish crap fest.

There was so much wrong with this film that I’m not sure where to begin… so I’ll begin with the name, Batman: Defenders of the Night. Batman is a singular entity. If he were a symbiotic being the title would be appropriate, however he isn’t, so it’s not. The title is obviously referring to Batman and his man-child-love-slave, Robin, therefore it should be entitled “Batman and Robin: Defenders of the Night”, or perhaps “Kourosh Rahimpour and Arvin Tounian: Two Dorks Who Think They Will Pick Up Babes After This Movie but Actually Just Impress Their Mothers”. Title too long? OK try this one: “Kourosh and Arvin: Virgins for Life”.

Dear Michael (aka Riddler/Roof Thug #1), I wish I could go back in time and erase the hellish cackling cry of your “voice” from my memory. You sound like a crow.

Note to everyone involved in this movie: you should never make a “film” again. The next time you are working on your Camaros and you feel that tingling urge to throw on some pajamas and call yourselves “super heroe’s” for the afternoon, resist. Just pop open another cool can of Bush beer and watch some reality television.

Oh, by the way, you really should not promote your poorly designed finance website with a poorly made Batman Fan Film, or any other fan film for that matter. It tends to make people question your credibility. (Update: as of this update FinanceKings.com no longer hosts this video).

Watch this stink fest yourself and post your own oppinions.

Note:this article has been edited. Under the request of the “actor” who portrayed the Riddler, Michael, I have removed his last name.